嘿

有些事过了就不能再回头了对吗?

ni hao!

heyo! i cut my hair today, haha. anyways this semester is coming to an end soon, and i think i forgot what is my blog's address :/ this semester has indeed been a challenging one for me. juggling between school, work, friends and family. it has taught me a lot yup. and things learnt in psych has been very interesting too! really thank God for all the niceeee group mates and all. can't imagine what it's gonna be like without these group mates and friends. yes, many things to thank God for! :D

now, it's time to mug!

it's time to let go :)

Yes! It's time to let go :) since i don't really know how to decipher it, then i just will keep a distance lor! heheehe.

lee wee nam

HI! got to go in four minutes time to meet magdalene :) yay quite happy that we finally get to meet! and wei ting is doing her very stressful numerical test now, and she just 'ooh!'. hahah.

went to a funeral yesterday, and shared my thoughts about it with michelle. really feel quite sad for the deceased, her life and all. and it really makes my life look so blissful and all compared to hers. but what i took away from the testimony shared is that God is such a loving God that He still continues to use people even on the deceased's verge of death to speak the gospel of good news to her. Really, her life is really full of downs (so much more than ups), and i really feel that she was very strong to live even till now, i mean then. yah. sigh.

on another note, about school, orchestration's setting in! and thinking of the melody and all, haha can make myself quite stressful :p finished listening biopsych lecture three and halfway through lecture two. about the evolutionary part, hmmm. :x

and this week of school feeelsss so much faster! tomorrow's friday already! band againnnnnzx.

I simply live for you

Say the word and I will sing for You
Over oceans deep, I will follow
If each star was a song
And every breath of wind, praise
It would still fail by far to say
All my heart contains
I simply live, I simply live for You

As the glory of Your presence
Now fills this place
In worship, we will meet You face to face
There is nothing in this world
To which You can be compared
Glory on glory, praise upon praise
You bind the broken hearted
And save all my tears
By Your word, You set the captives free
There is nothing in this world
That You cannot do
I simply live, I simply live for You

Amen. I think this is such a meaningful and nice song :) over oceans deep, will I follow? And evens stars and winds cannot express fully what I want to say. Isn't it amazing to truly say this with all my heart? :)

School has started for one month!! :x can you believe, so fast. cos it feels like school just started oops. haha but it has been an eventful one month. been a very different experience as compared to first year. and i learn a lot along the way.. really especially about remembering who I am serving, why I am doing everything I am doing. And yah, my God is a great God. Praise God :) i think He's teaching me to deal with a lot of things that perhaps I've swept away last time, and also bringing me out of my comfort zone and all. okay! biopsych timeeeee

while waiting for my hair to dry....

i came to blog. haha! this is quite funy actually. been going to higher-class places for dinner today and yesterday! haha. it's quite nice to see friends whom i never see for quite a long time :) but at the same time, that means spending more time outside and all. sigh. maybe my mum should be my friend for a week and all, like she can be my secondary school/jc/uni friend, then she can come along with all the dinners!! hehehe. but i think eating good food is like, getting me away from my cai fan days. hahah :p

its very special right, the bond between friends. and also, how divine, that people can meet together at one point in time of life and become friends and share life together. :) really, what is life all about? meeting friends, chilling and chatting all day long? study, study, study then work, work, work and earn money, earn money, earn money? what do i want to do with my life for the next ten to twenty years? hmmm.

the moment i think about all these things, my heart is overwhelmed, at how interesting life is. really some things happen because its just so coincidental. if it was just spilt second late, that thing would never happen. interesting right. okay, i'm just really writing what my brain produces. haha

school's gonna start soon, that means one whole cycle of lecture, tutorial, fal, mid-terms, finals, assignments all again!! really don't like mid-terms, stress me up a lot. i need time to study. hahaha :p oops. yay everyone's starting school again!!! :D and school is really quite a fun place to be in lah, better than working aye. okay and now i'm quite happy that i get to teach piano again :) really take the time as a joy :) okay gonna speed up my hair's drying process. hahahaaha use the hair dryer time!

ohhhhh and the weather's been sooooooo gooooodddd and nice for sleeeping!!! :D :D :D that explains why its so hard to get out of my comfy bed. :)

no other name

Very interesting to read eh. Good improvement, gladys! hehe. :p The argument seems to go between either random chances and purposelessness or a divine Intelligent designer. of which, the latter argument seems to make more sense logically.

a watch implies the presence of a watchmaker. a human, then, implies the presence of a Creator? :) thank God that this is not a blind faith, but a faith that is logically defensible. It's very fun, and exciting to live out this by discovering it yourself. Something that i had never done the past like twenty years.

A quote from Tom Skinner in 'Confident Leadership':

I spent a long time trying to come to grips with my doubts, and suddenly I realized that I had better come to grips with what I believe. I have since moved from the agony of questions that I cannot answer to the reality of answers that I cannot escape. And it is a great relief.

:)

beeeeee-say

Hello! :) busy period is over! time to sit down and study my basic theory (and oops i'm still here blogging). hehe. These four weeks had been a very meaningful and insightful time for me :) foc and mission trip and smc. and singapore is not that small after all eh, when you gotta travel from west to east. haha!

foc was quite good, the games and all. haha quite funny lah everything. chatting and more chatting and more chatting into 4.30am. and amanda the twinky! hehehheheheee. okay and i really learnt a very important lesson to me too, of which i think it's continue to take on further meaning in my heart. :) i learnt to surrender that one thing that is the everything to you. surrender it to God.

mission trip was quite good, refreshing, relaxing and fun. haha! staying in the east is actually quite fun, but thank God for yew tee too. hahahahah. learnt a lot lah, and really enjoyed a community kind of lifestyle. i really liked it that there were devotions and worship every other day. its very nice to just sit in one small circle and sing songs. :) and watch ai! HEHE. yah and uno intercept! i think i learnt a lot of new games in crusade. hahah games has taken on a new meaning to me man! and most importantly, God deposited another lesson to me, that was very close to heart. and it really humbled me a lot. sometimes, i guess i really just wonder, even though i didn't verbally say it out (which is bad also, qiu rong says evil comes from the mind!). wonder why such and such things happen and all. it's really funny lah i would say. really wonder why actually (okay i'm talking about movie night), but really ultimately it's up to God's plans and not our plans. i think it's good enough that we prepared well for it, the outcome really depends on God :) and our swensens, pastamania and carls junior meal!! haha. $5.50! really enjoyed the time that we spent on reading also. :) do have personal retreat! and the silent retreat. hahahahhahah. after that no one dared to share :p

smc just ended today! and it was a lot of information i would say. not as in like psych kind of information, but information that is really those kind that you gotta remember kind, and make a connection with it kind. so i think mentally it was quite tiring, but really enjoyed the fellowship and all also :)

in between the days were bbq with li ting, wei yi, oriana and freinds :) and teaching piano and then i don't really remember, and spending time with my family! :D watched aftershock, and it was really quite sad, to see how an earthquake can affect one person's life so so so so much.

okay i'm done here!! :) and gonna meet up with more friends for the next week! :)

ceeeee

Hello! I'm tired now and my brain isn't working at its optimal level! But I'm still gonna try to write some wise words here heh. These three days staying in a ulu place was very refreshing, in fact, more refreshing than I expected it to be. One big message take away sets my life in a rather new direction as for now :) quite excited about it! Though quite apprehensive about it too. Hee. Thank You for still providing friends for me in Year 1 though I didn't go for any camps or anything. And somehow this foc is to make up for the foc I missed last year! Teehee. ISM soon!

Okay sleeping time for nowww.

birthday!

Hello! Happy birthday to me! hahaha :p i guess to me, birthdays are a special day. even if you live up to like 50 years old, there are only 50 days of birthdays for you. and it reminds me, that God created me in my mama's womb (hehe), fearfully and wonderfully made. and so it is for everyone! maybe i should really go and be a birthday planner. hehehehe. quite nice, to surprise people and make them feel special on their special day.

On a side note, jennifer xie! thank you for the east coast trip on monday! hahaha. it was really super funny manz. ok i help you publicize k. go check out effortlesschic.livejournal.com!! hehe :) wish you all the best! it was a really fun day. :D

And the coming weeks are gonna be busy, but still it's a new kind of phase in my life that I don't usually go through. haha :) we can compare here and compare there. compare to the richer, and compare to the poorer. and then when you finally think about it, it is really what you have that you ought to be contented with. :) okay, done!

GUESS

HELLO! :D

teehee. woke up at 10.30 today, thanks to some surveyor! no, but really thanks to him i woke up, if not i would have wasted one whole morning again. at least i've got 1 and a half hours to myself! i went to farm, checked email. haha and joanna kam, that's a pretty awesome write up for programmes!

yesterday was a pretty fun day. read about lot, abramham, moab, sarah, hagar and all. and i didn't know that about lot! these few days, it keeps dawning upon me that there ARE decisive choices that i have to make. you can't keep saying 'Lord, give me more hunger' and then you continue watching more tv and going out more instead of spending more time on QT. and also a lot of other matters also lah. in sum, you can't just act with your words. you need ACTion. haha :)

oh oh and to add on to yesterday, my mum and i (see, standard english hee!) we went bugis! actually wanted to go to the yoshinoyah to eat, but then i didn't bring my student pass and all. and we had crystal jade!! MUAHA. the xiao long bao is so niceeeeee. it makes me feel like a xiao long bao eating it. HAHA! :D love it. then came the la mian, my gosh. it's HUGE man!!! almost puke trying to finish it leh (like literally). i was determined to not waste so much food. so in the end i left lesser la mian than mummy! teehee.

AND THEN, we went shopping!! :D plus loads of toilet trips. HAHA! and mummy got me a guess wallet for birthday! teehee. (i'm showing off, yes!) this is the time when people insert a picture of it. but i'm too lazy for that. haha so please imagine it by yourself :) and another nice vintage bag! :D happy girl!

CIMB

Hello! Feel inspired to post a post after reading michelle's blog (michelle aren't you honoured! teehee) her blog is so nice! and hence i changed my blog background too. HAHA. its really easy to change leh. even a computer noob like me can change it too! just that somehow my photo up there looks weird now. and see, my favourite colour isn't brown ok! haha.

went for a piano fest concert yesterday, and honestly it feels really refreshing to be in such a concert. I guess somehow things along the way, my kind of life, made me very lazy and like lost (is that the right word?) haha in terms of learning piano myself. (oops better not let my students see this!) I always wondered, why these pianists are willing to sacrifice so much of their time to practise piano with such good discipline (i assume they have?) and all. is it really worth it? all those how-many-zillion-hours of practice, just for one night. one night of concert. I guess it's something that I still cannot find an answer to. But then, certain good constraints do bring people to greater freedom right?

How's holidays so far? it's been like almost two months! my gosh. so fast. honestly i don't think i spent them very well :( sigh. still got two months! better make good use of them. so, i'm gonna practise more piano! yes. haha mark my words. chaccone, here i come! teehee. and cycle with jennifer one day! and go for more concerts? and read more books!

And a certain thought that keeps dwelling in my mind these few days. You never know how good good is, till you know how bad bad is. And aren't we all living for the moment? Life is like a passing breeze, that never returns (tan you get your answer here!). People are like that, we never really appreciate things till they are gone. And when they are back again, we cherish them for a while, and then we take them for granted again.

And soo min, have you figured out what CIMB is! HAHA. :D tell me about the concert tonight!! :D

farm

guess what i did the first thing i came home! (after washing feet and opening windows and all) i went to harvest my crops! teehee. the fertilizers are so amazing. haha they make the crops really much nicer. wonder if the same thing happens in real life?

okay farming besides the point, recently i got down to think. think hard about life, in general. is there really a God? Some supernatural being who created this world and the people in this world? What is life really all about, and what after next? Why is God unseen?

And then now i'm beginning to read Reasons for God. teehee :) and i realized something, that even though an argument against god may appear to seem very strong at first, it actually really has some flaws, and ultimately it backfires itself.

Gonna jog now! And shrek was so funny. someone took up my seat though. tsk. to think i was like on time some more, maybe my watch was slow. puss is soooooooo cuuuuuutttteeee when he does that whiny-eyes thing. HAHA! so funny! okay. enough of that. Gonna skip now! not jog. oops. :)

on a side note, please come for uni band fest concert!!!!! HAHAA. see, i made an attempt to sell k, just that no one reads my blog! :)

HI

hello! :) really really, thank God.


These few days I thought a lot, okay maybe not just these few days. Just recently. It's like I've been believing in this for all my life, and suddenly I'm faced with fundamental questions that I don't really have an answer to them. Like, I'm only beginning to really discover it for what it is, rather than listening from others. It's really not easy, but I believe it'll be worth it.

Psalm 44

The victories and all were attributed to God, not the works of men. Amen! But it is very interesting a thought to think of the salvation of God as a rework of this victory. Indeed, nobody can give salvation except God. But does that mean that we do not do anything or what? Nopes! :) We can/should still pray and all. Remember, we are instruments of God's work :)

To quote from Surgeon, "Canaan was not conquered without the armies of Israel, but equally true is it that is was not conquered by them; the Lord was the conqueror, and the people were but instruments in his hands".

"The divine hand actively fought for them, the divine arm powerfully sustained them with more than human energy, and the divine smile inspired them with dauntless courage. Who could not win with such triple help, though earth, death, and hell should rise in war against him? What mattered the tallness of the sons of Anak, or the terror of their chariots of iron, they were as nothing when Jehovah arose for the avenging of Israel". Perhaps we don't even understand what it is to be at war in times of peace in Singapore, but I can imagine that it's a very frightening scene for me... God's hand, arm and smile is sustaining me. Through all the days of my life. :)

Yesterday, joanna asked how do you know if Christ lives in you? That's a very interesting question right. Really, believing in God is a all-or-nothing issue. If you choose to really believe, then your whole life will change, somehow. If you choose not to believe, you will still remain as you are. But what if you are in between? Then should you change or remain where you are? Is that why we should not be lukewarm? I guess, that is where faith comes in. :)

Through You, and through Your Name. Cast aside, lay aside the swords and bows, that there may be room for the living God. :)

"The Lord's absence takes from a church everything which can exalt and ennoble." That is very true! Not so much of poverty or inadequacy and all. God is the essence of the church, and of my life. A timely reminder to not go forth doing God's work without calling God to be our Helper/Builder. I guess last time I already knew it was important, but today it made me realize just how important it is, really.

"For our comfort let us rest satisfied that in reality the Lord is glorified, and when no revenue of glory is manifestly rendered to him, he none the less accomplishes his own secret purposes, of which the grand result will be revealed in due time. We do not suffer for nought, nor are our griefs without result." This talks about when we see that things do not seem to glorify God's name (in this case, Israel being conquered by her enemies and the Lord's name being despised), God's purposes are still accomplished :) :) :) in the end, everything will be ok!

"The world knows not its nobility, it has no eye for true excellence: it found a cross for the Master, and cannot be expected to award crowns to his disciples." Mmhmm, has it ever came across to my mind like that?

"When in the midst of many griefs we can still cling to God in loving obedience, it must be well with us. True fidelity can endure rough usage. Those who follow God for what they get, will leave him when persecution is stirred up, but not so the sincere believer; he will not forget his God, even though the worst come to the worst." This is just like the testing of our faith, yep. Be a sincere believer today!

"Not for sin but for righteousness did the saints suffer, not for falsehood but for truth, not for forsaking the Lord, but for following hard after him."

O.V.E.R!

EXAMS ARE OVEEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEEEEE!!!! :D hehehhee. Anyways, I had such an exciting night after the last paper! :D caught Iron Man 2 on the first day it was out leh. Coolz right. Thanks, haha.

Anyways this sem's modules were all tougher than last sem's! The only one that was okay was indian music, which I really don't know how it's gonna be graded and all.

But everyone should go and take that module, hahahahhaha it's so fun until I can laugh. HAHA! Okay it feels really good that exams are over leh! I guess I did my best, and tried to understand all the concepts and all. Gosh, kept thinking that the stats paper will end at 5.30pm and then planned my time wrongly :/ really almost wanted to ask the teacher, how come it ends at 5pm, not 5.30pm meh? Hehe

Anyways for my holidays, I'm gonna practise more piano! :D watch more dramas/movies/anything that can be watched hehe, exercise! :p and read! Yes, how exciting right! And go to esplanade to kop more cds back to copy. Music is really kind of fun :)

Utterly Reduced

It is not the strong, the confident, or the self-assured who can, with hope and propriety, ask the Lord for strength and peace. It is, rather, the weak, the helpless, and the chastened, those who have truly heard the voice, and have been brought to realize their utter dependence on the one who utters it. - Psalm 29 Commentary by Matthew Stith, Pastor of CPC.

The more I seek to justify myself as a 'rational and good' person, the more I come to realize that I really fall short of it. Indeed, one comes to realize the greatness of this relationship, this grace and this love after then.

Real Love

Just now, I was looking for my hairband on the table, in the dark. And i stretched out my right hand to where I thought the hairband was, but it wasn't there at all. And i almost wanted to switch on the light already, when my left hand found out that the hairband was just next to it. :)

Suddenly, it made me realise, my lightbulb moment! I've been looking, unknowingly, for this something in everywhere, but couldn't find it. Little did I know, this something is right near me, so near me, yet I was blind to it.

I gradually realise, that deep down within each person's heart, we yearn to find acceptance, assurance from other people or things. No? I never thought this need would be so great.

But, thank You, because only in You, we are made complete. :)

These few days reflected a lot, and it was a good time of growth. :)

Good Friday

Hello blog! Michelle says you are almost non-existant. So i came to blog. Haha

Anyways, besides the point. Thank God for bringing me to hokkien service today :) It's kind of amazing, because few years back, I wouldn't be willing to go for a hokkien service.

Love the warmth there, really. And today I heard about God's love (once again, but it also amazes me that everything, I learn something new about it that really gives me a new vision and deeper understanding of the Cross.)

The pastor asked, have you ever felt like you were wronged before? What was that feeling? And what was the feeling when you couldn't complain/say anything about it? That feeling must have really sucked. And that was exactly what Jesus felt (okay putting it in modern terms). Christ used his blood, his blood, to make a way for us to Heaven. It's really amazing, this love.

And, he also said something. Remember we say that evil people will have evil retribution, good people will get good things? Why do we all have to die one day? That's really the consequence of sin - this implies that we are all sinners - bad people. That's why we all will die one day. But God gave Jesus to die for the world, that we may die, and live again with him after death :) that's the result of love, grace and mercy. All in abundance.

This is really the gift of life, and great great love. This Good Friday was much more a spirit-opener for me as compared to the other years back. :) Though there are still many uncertainities in life, I somehow have a sense of peace in my heart :) peace that I know comes from God :)

Really wanna thank God for everything and anything. Hehe. Oh michelle tan, have I told you before? Last sem's marketing project made me realize that good project mates are really, really a great blessing. And I really am blessed this sem (not that I wasn't last sem) and I learned to not take it for granted and thank God for it. :) hehehe!

God wants to bless us with a life of abundant peace and joy, if you would allow Him to do so. <3

Acts 20

An accountant: weighing carefully the credits and the expenses; and in the end, not counting his own life dear to him, compared to his God and how he can serve him.

A runner: who had a race to finish, and nothing would keep Paul from finishing the race with joy

A watchmen: there to bring forth the whole counsel of God’s word

Wow.. There's really so much more. So much more, to this life. :)