new year!

dear diary,

holidays are gonna be over soon!! so fast! i did many things this holidays, met up with many people whom i didn't meet up with during school term. people like sean, jefri, wei ting, qianqi, dominic, jennifer, qiu rong, jie min, rachel, michelle, soo min, puay bing, zhi wen, michelle hui, grace wang, joanna kam, li sun, xiu min and crusade people! yup all the going out and accumulated and made me sick today! tee.

holidays have also been a time of rest, i guess a slight break from doing ministry, but more of thinking of ministry. i think i really got tired out last sem from ministry and sort of lost the purpose of ministry, something that i know that is really important.

but these few days, during f comm meeting and also ministry planning at st retreat and bible camp, it really refreshed me on about faithfulness in this aspect. yup :) and also i really am impacted by something that happened too!

also i learnt, that nothing beats having a 'good' relationship, in the sense that if it doesn't work out, then so be it, its better that we leave it on good terms rather than turn your face on the other person!

michelle's sleepover was very fun! :) hehe. rachel's party was a good time of reminiscing about the funny moments in bp days all the marching and all. and qiu rong's jokes were like, hahaha very funny!!

its also amazing how the friendship with jennifer can still maintain till now and all :)

kind of looking forward to the next sem and also i didn't really tell anyone about this, but since michelle you're the only one who reads my blog, you can know! haha

i kind of am thankful for my grades this semester, that though it wasn't maintained or increased, but it gave me a break from the stress of maintaining it and all. i guess the stress of maintaining the gpa really really was weighing on my mind. and i am really thankful that i can be doing something that i actually do like. it's like so interesting to read about psych and all :)

though there's still quite a few uncertainities on my mind, but God has really shown Himself to be faithful and true. and thanks haryl for sharing during f comm. God ultimately looks at the heart i know. just really gotta keep praying lor, that during the sem when things really get busy and i get tired, that i will still serve from the inner self, not just fulfilling obligations or responsibilites.

bible reading has also been good! read about ephesians the one on husbands and wives. what that struck me was paul's use of marriage as an illustration of Christ and the church. to think that Christ calls the church His bride, and gave up his life for the church, is something that wowed me. :) that God is really good.

oh michelle want to tell you something too. you know for the past sem i have been praying for samho occasionally, haha that God will comfort her in her times of sorrow and pain. And during your birthday party she says she has been going to church quite regularly, i was really like stunned for a while haha. that God hears my prayers lor :)

嘿

有些事过了就不能再回头了对吗?

ni hao!

heyo! i cut my hair today, haha. anyways this semester is coming to an end soon, and i think i forgot what is my blog's address :/ this semester has indeed been a challenging one for me. juggling between school, work, friends and family. it has taught me a lot yup. and things learnt in psych has been very interesting too! really thank God for all the niceeee group mates and all. can't imagine what it's gonna be like without these group mates and friends. yes, many things to thank God for! :D

now, it's time to mug!

it's time to let go :)

Yes! It's time to let go :) since i don't really know how to decipher it, then i just will keep a distance lor! heheehe.

lee wee nam

HI! got to go in four minutes time to meet magdalene :) yay quite happy that we finally get to meet! and wei ting is doing her very stressful numerical test now, and she just 'ooh!'. hahah.

went to a funeral yesterday, and shared my thoughts about it with michelle. really feel quite sad for the deceased, her life and all. and it really makes my life look so blissful and all compared to hers. but what i took away from the testimony shared is that God is such a loving God that He still continues to use people even on the deceased's verge of death to speak the gospel of good news to her. Really, her life is really full of downs (so much more than ups), and i really feel that she was very strong to live even till now, i mean then. yah. sigh.

on another note, about school, orchestration's setting in! and thinking of the melody and all, haha can make myself quite stressful :p finished listening biopsych lecture three and halfway through lecture two. about the evolutionary part, hmmm. :x

and this week of school feeelsss so much faster! tomorrow's friday already! band againnnnnzx.

I simply live for you

Say the word and I will sing for You
Over oceans deep, I will follow
If each star was a song
And every breath of wind, praise
It would still fail by far to say
All my heart contains
I simply live, I simply live for You

As the glory of Your presence
Now fills this place
In worship, we will meet You face to face
There is nothing in this world
To which You can be compared
Glory on glory, praise upon praise
You bind the broken hearted
And save all my tears
By Your word, You set the captives free
There is nothing in this world
That You cannot do
I simply live, I simply live for You

Amen. I think this is such a meaningful and nice song :) over oceans deep, will I follow? And evens stars and winds cannot express fully what I want to say. Isn't it amazing to truly say this with all my heart? :)

School has started for one month!! :x can you believe, so fast. cos it feels like school just started oops. haha but it has been an eventful one month. been a very different experience as compared to first year. and i learn a lot along the way.. really especially about remembering who I am serving, why I am doing everything I am doing. And yah, my God is a great God. Praise God :) i think He's teaching me to deal with a lot of things that perhaps I've swept away last time, and also bringing me out of my comfort zone and all. okay! biopsych timeeeee

while waiting for my hair to dry....

i came to blog. haha! this is quite funy actually. been going to higher-class places for dinner today and yesterday! haha. it's quite nice to see friends whom i never see for quite a long time :) but at the same time, that means spending more time outside and all. sigh. maybe my mum should be my friend for a week and all, like she can be my secondary school/jc/uni friend, then she can come along with all the dinners!! hehehe. but i think eating good food is like, getting me away from my cai fan days. hahah :p

its very special right, the bond between friends. and also, how divine, that people can meet together at one point in time of life and become friends and share life together. :) really, what is life all about? meeting friends, chilling and chatting all day long? study, study, study then work, work, work and earn money, earn money, earn money? what do i want to do with my life for the next ten to twenty years? hmmm.

the moment i think about all these things, my heart is overwhelmed, at how interesting life is. really some things happen because its just so coincidental. if it was just spilt second late, that thing would never happen. interesting right. okay, i'm just really writing what my brain produces. haha

school's gonna start soon, that means one whole cycle of lecture, tutorial, fal, mid-terms, finals, assignments all again!! really don't like mid-terms, stress me up a lot. i need time to study. hahaha :p oops. yay everyone's starting school again!!! :D and school is really quite a fun place to be in lah, better than working aye. okay and now i'm quite happy that i get to teach piano again :) really take the time as a joy :) okay gonna speed up my hair's drying process. hahahaaha use the hair dryer time!

ohhhhh and the weather's been sooooooo gooooodddd and nice for sleeeping!!! :D :D :D that explains why its so hard to get out of my comfy bed. :)

no other name

Very interesting to read eh. Good improvement, gladys! hehe. :p The argument seems to go between either random chances and purposelessness or a divine Intelligent designer. of which, the latter argument seems to make more sense logically.

a watch implies the presence of a watchmaker. a human, then, implies the presence of a Creator? :) thank God that this is not a blind faith, but a faith that is logically defensible. It's very fun, and exciting to live out this by discovering it yourself. Something that i had never done the past like twenty years.

A quote from Tom Skinner in 'Confident Leadership':

I spent a long time trying to come to grips with my doubts, and suddenly I realized that I had better come to grips with what I believe. I have since moved from the agony of questions that I cannot answer to the reality of answers that I cannot escape. And it is a great relief.

:)

beeeeee-say

Hello! :) busy period is over! time to sit down and study my basic theory (and oops i'm still here blogging). hehe. These four weeks had been a very meaningful and insightful time for me :) foc and mission trip and smc. and singapore is not that small after all eh, when you gotta travel from west to east. haha!

foc was quite good, the games and all. haha quite funny lah everything. chatting and more chatting and more chatting into 4.30am. and amanda the twinky! hehehheheheee. okay and i really learnt a very important lesson to me too, of which i think it's continue to take on further meaning in my heart. :) i learnt to surrender that one thing that is the everything to you. surrender it to God.

mission trip was quite good, refreshing, relaxing and fun. haha! staying in the east is actually quite fun, but thank God for yew tee too. hahahahah. learnt a lot lah, and really enjoyed a community kind of lifestyle. i really liked it that there were devotions and worship every other day. its very nice to just sit in one small circle and sing songs. :) and watch ai! HEHE. yah and uno intercept! i think i learnt a lot of new games in crusade. hahah games has taken on a new meaning to me man! and most importantly, God deposited another lesson to me, that was very close to heart. and it really humbled me a lot. sometimes, i guess i really just wonder, even though i didn't verbally say it out (which is bad also, qiu rong says evil comes from the mind!). wonder why such and such things happen and all. it's really funny lah i would say. really wonder why actually (okay i'm talking about movie night), but really ultimately it's up to God's plans and not our plans. i think it's good enough that we prepared well for it, the outcome really depends on God :) and our swensens, pastamania and carls junior meal!! haha. $5.50! really enjoyed the time that we spent on reading also. :) do have personal retreat! and the silent retreat. hahahahhahah. after that no one dared to share :p

smc just ended today! and it was a lot of information i would say. not as in like psych kind of information, but information that is really those kind that you gotta remember kind, and make a connection with it kind. so i think mentally it was quite tiring, but really enjoyed the fellowship and all also :)

in between the days were bbq with li ting, wei yi, oriana and freinds :) and teaching piano and then i don't really remember, and spending time with my family! :D watched aftershock, and it was really quite sad, to see how an earthquake can affect one person's life so so so so much.

okay i'm done here!! :) and gonna meet up with more friends for the next week! :)

ceeeee

Hello! I'm tired now and my brain isn't working at its optimal level! But I'm still gonna try to write some wise words here heh. These three days staying in a ulu place was very refreshing, in fact, more refreshing than I expected it to be. One big message take away sets my life in a rather new direction as for now :) quite excited about it! Though quite apprehensive about it too. Hee. Thank You for still providing friends for me in Year 1 though I didn't go for any camps or anything. And somehow this foc is to make up for the foc I missed last year! Teehee. ISM soon!

Okay sleeping time for nowww.

birthday!

Hello! Happy birthday to me! hahaha :p i guess to me, birthdays are a special day. even if you live up to like 50 years old, there are only 50 days of birthdays for you. and it reminds me, that God created me in my mama's womb (hehe), fearfully and wonderfully made. and so it is for everyone! maybe i should really go and be a birthday planner. hehehehe. quite nice, to surprise people and make them feel special on their special day.

On a side note, jennifer xie! thank you for the east coast trip on monday! hahaha. it was really super funny manz. ok i help you publicize k. go check out effortlesschic.livejournal.com!! hehe :) wish you all the best! it was a really fun day. :D

And the coming weeks are gonna be busy, but still it's a new kind of phase in my life that I don't usually go through. haha :) we can compare here and compare there. compare to the richer, and compare to the poorer. and then when you finally think about it, it is really what you have that you ought to be contented with. :) okay, done!

GUESS

HELLO! :D

teehee. woke up at 10.30 today, thanks to some surveyor! no, but really thanks to him i woke up, if not i would have wasted one whole morning again. at least i've got 1 and a half hours to myself! i went to farm, checked email. haha and joanna kam, that's a pretty awesome write up for programmes!

yesterday was a pretty fun day. read about lot, abramham, moab, sarah, hagar and all. and i didn't know that about lot! these few days, it keeps dawning upon me that there ARE decisive choices that i have to make. you can't keep saying 'Lord, give me more hunger' and then you continue watching more tv and going out more instead of spending more time on QT. and also a lot of other matters also lah. in sum, you can't just act with your words. you need ACTion. haha :)

oh oh and to add on to yesterday, my mum and i (see, standard english hee!) we went bugis! actually wanted to go to the yoshinoyah to eat, but then i didn't bring my student pass and all. and we had crystal jade!! MUAHA. the xiao long bao is so niceeeeee. it makes me feel like a xiao long bao eating it. HAHA! :D love it. then came the la mian, my gosh. it's HUGE man!!! almost puke trying to finish it leh (like literally). i was determined to not waste so much food. so in the end i left lesser la mian than mummy! teehee.

AND THEN, we went shopping!! :D plus loads of toilet trips. HAHA! and mummy got me a guess wallet for birthday! teehee. (i'm showing off, yes!) this is the time when people insert a picture of it. but i'm too lazy for that. haha so please imagine it by yourself :) and another nice vintage bag! :D happy girl!

CIMB

Hello! Feel inspired to post a post after reading michelle's blog (michelle aren't you honoured! teehee) her blog is so nice! and hence i changed my blog background too. HAHA. its really easy to change leh. even a computer noob like me can change it too! just that somehow my photo up there looks weird now. and see, my favourite colour isn't brown ok! haha.

went for a piano fest concert yesterday, and honestly it feels really refreshing to be in such a concert. I guess somehow things along the way, my kind of life, made me very lazy and like lost (is that the right word?) haha in terms of learning piano myself. (oops better not let my students see this!) I always wondered, why these pianists are willing to sacrifice so much of their time to practise piano with such good discipline (i assume they have?) and all. is it really worth it? all those how-many-zillion-hours of practice, just for one night. one night of concert. I guess it's something that I still cannot find an answer to. But then, certain good constraints do bring people to greater freedom right?

How's holidays so far? it's been like almost two months! my gosh. so fast. honestly i don't think i spent them very well :( sigh. still got two months! better make good use of them. so, i'm gonna practise more piano! yes. haha mark my words. chaccone, here i come! teehee. and cycle with jennifer one day! and go for more concerts? and read more books!

And a certain thought that keeps dwelling in my mind these few days. You never know how good good is, till you know how bad bad is. And aren't we all living for the moment? Life is like a passing breeze, that never returns (tan you get your answer here!). People are like that, we never really appreciate things till they are gone. And when they are back again, we cherish them for a while, and then we take them for granted again.

And soo min, have you figured out what CIMB is! HAHA. :D tell me about the concert tonight!! :D

farm

guess what i did the first thing i came home! (after washing feet and opening windows and all) i went to harvest my crops! teehee. the fertilizers are so amazing. haha they make the crops really much nicer. wonder if the same thing happens in real life?

okay farming besides the point, recently i got down to think. think hard about life, in general. is there really a God? Some supernatural being who created this world and the people in this world? What is life really all about, and what after next? Why is God unseen?

And then now i'm beginning to read Reasons for God. teehee :) and i realized something, that even though an argument against god may appear to seem very strong at first, it actually really has some flaws, and ultimately it backfires itself.

Gonna jog now! And shrek was so funny. someone took up my seat though. tsk. to think i was like on time some more, maybe my watch was slow. puss is soooooooo cuuuuuutttteeee when he does that whiny-eyes thing. HAHA! so funny! okay. enough of that. Gonna skip now! not jog. oops. :)

on a side note, please come for uni band fest concert!!!!! HAHAA. see, i made an attempt to sell k, just that no one reads my blog! :)

HI

hello! :) really really, thank God.


These few days I thought a lot, okay maybe not just these few days. Just recently. It's like I've been believing in this for all my life, and suddenly I'm faced with fundamental questions that I don't really have an answer to them. Like, I'm only beginning to really discover it for what it is, rather than listening from others. It's really not easy, but I believe it'll be worth it.

Psalm 44

The victories and all were attributed to God, not the works of men. Amen! But it is very interesting a thought to think of the salvation of God as a rework of this victory. Indeed, nobody can give salvation except God. But does that mean that we do not do anything or what? Nopes! :) We can/should still pray and all. Remember, we are instruments of God's work :)

To quote from Surgeon, "Canaan was not conquered without the armies of Israel, but equally true is it that is was not conquered by them; the Lord was the conqueror, and the people were but instruments in his hands".

"The divine hand actively fought for them, the divine arm powerfully sustained them with more than human energy, and the divine smile inspired them with dauntless courage. Who could not win with such triple help, though earth, death, and hell should rise in war against him? What mattered the tallness of the sons of Anak, or the terror of their chariots of iron, they were as nothing when Jehovah arose for the avenging of Israel". Perhaps we don't even understand what it is to be at war in times of peace in Singapore, but I can imagine that it's a very frightening scene for me... God's hand, arm and smile is sustaining me. Through all the days of my life. :)

Yesterday, joanna asked how do you know if Christ lives in you? That's a very interesting question right. Really, believing in God is a all-or-nothing issue. If you choose to really believe, then your whole life will change, somehow. If you choose not to believe, you will still remain as you are. But what if you are in between? Then should you change or remain where you are? Is that why we should not be lukewarm? I guess, that is where faith comes in. :)

Through You, and through Your Name. Cast aside, lay aside the swords and bows, that there may be room for the living God. :)

"The Lord's absence takes from a church everything which can exalt and ennoble." That is very true! Not so much of poverty or inadequacy and all. God is the essence of the church, and of my life. A timely reminder to not go forth doing God's work without calling God to be our Helper/Builder. I guess last time I already knew it was important, but today it made me realize just how important it is, really.

"For our comfort let us rest satisfied that in reality the Lord is glorified, and when no revenue of glory is manifestly rendered to him, he none the less accomplishes his own secret purposes, of which the grand result will be revealed in due time. We do not suffer for nought, nor are our griefs without result." This talks about when we see that things do not seem to glorify God's name (in this case, Israel being conquered by her enemies and the Lord's name being despised), God's purposes are still accomplished :) :) :) in the end, everything will be ok!

"The world knows not its nobility, it has no eye for true excellence: it found a cross for the Master, and cannot be expected to award crowns to his disciples." Mmhmm, has it ever came across to my mind like that?

"When in the midst of many griefs we can still cling to God in loving obedience, it must be well with us. True fidelity can endure rough usage. Those who follow God for what they get, will leave him when persecution is stirred up, but not so the sincere believer; he will not forget his God, even though the worst come to the worst." This is just like the testing of our faith, yep. Be a sincere believer today!

"Not for sin but for righteousness did the saints suffer, not for falsehood but for truth, not for forsaking the Lord, but for following hard after him."

O.V.E.R!

EXAMS ARE OVEEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEEEEE!!!! :D hehehhee. Anyways, I had such an exciting night after the last paper! :D caught Iron Man 2 on the first day it was out leh. Coolz right. Thanks, haha.

Anyways this sem's modules were all tougher than last sem's! The only one that was okay was indian music, which I really don't know how it's gonna be graded and all.

But everyone should go and take that module, hahahahhaha it's so fun until I can laugh. HAHA! Okay it feels really good that exams are over leh! I guess I did my best, and tried to understand all the concepts and all. Gosh, kept thinking that the stats paper will end at 5.30pm and then planned my time wrongly :/ really almost wanted to ask the teacher, how come it ends at 5pm, not 5.30pm meh? Hehe

Anyways for my holidays, I'm gonna practise more piano! :D watch more dramas/movies/anything that can be watched hehe, exercise! :p and read! Yes, how exciting right! And go to esplanade to kop more cds back to copy. Music is really kind of fun :)

Utterly Reduced

It is not the strong, the confident, or the self-assured who can, with hope and propriety, ask the Lord for strength and peace. It is, rather, the weak, the helpless, and the chastened, those who have truly heard the voice, and have been brought to realize their utter dependence on the one who utters it. - Psalm 29 Commentary by Matthew Stith, Pastor of CPC.

The more I seek to justify myself as a 'rational and good' person, the more I come to realize that I really fall short of it. Indeed, one comes to realize the greatness of this relationship, this grace and this love after then.

Real Love

Just now, I was looking for my hairband on the table, in the dark. And i stretched out my right hand to where I thought the hairband was, but it wasn't there at all. And i almost wanted to switch on the light already, when my left hand found out that the hairband was just next to it. :)

Suddenly, it made me realise, my lightbulb moment! I've been looking, unknowingly, for this something in everywhere, but couldn't find it. Little did I know, this something is right near me, so near me, yet I was blind to it.

I gradually realise, that deep down within each person's heart, we yearn to find acceptance, assurance from other people or things. No? I never thought this need would be so great.

But, thank You, because only in You, we are made complete. :)

These few days reflected a lot, and it was a good time of growth. :)

Good Friday

Hello blog! Michelle says you are almost non-existant. So i came to blog. Haha

Anyways, besides the point. Thank God for bringing me to hokkien service today :) It's kind of amazing, because few years back, I wouldn't be willing to go for a hokkien service.

Love the warmth there, really. And today I heard about God's love (once again, but it also amazes me that everything, I learn something new about it that really gives me a new vision and deeper understanding of the Cross.)

The pastor asked, have you ever felt like you were wronged before? What was that feeling? And what was the feeling when you couldn't complain/say anything about it? That feeling must have really sucked. And that was exactly what Jesus felt (okay putting it in modern terms). Christ used his blood, his blood, to make a way for us to Heaven. It's really amazing, this love.

And, he also said something. Remember we say that evil people will have evil retribution, good people will get good things? Why do we all have to die one day? That's really the consequence of sin - this implies that we are all sinners - bad people. That's why we all will die one day. But God gave Jesus to die for the world, that we may die, and live again with him after death :) that's the result of love, grace and mercy. All in abundance.

This is really the gift of life, and great great love. This Good Friday was much more a spirit-opener for me as compared to the other years back. :) Though there are still many uncertainities in life, I somehow have a sense of peace in my heart :) peace that I know comes from God :)

Really wanna thank God for everything and anything. Hehe. Oh michelle tan, have I told you before? Last sem's marketing project made me realize that good project mates are really, really a great blessing. And I really am blessed this sem (not that I wasn't last sem) and I learned to not take it for granted and thank God for it. :) hehehe!

God wants to bless us with a life of abundant peace and joy, if you would allow Him to do so. <3

Acts 20

An accountant: weighing carefully the credits and the expenses; and in the end, not counting his own life dear to him, compared to his God and how he can serve him.

A runner: who had a race to finish, and nothing would keep Paul from finishing the race with joy

A watchmen: there to bring forth the whole counsel of God’s word

Wow.. There's really so much more. So much more, to this life. :)

Acts 19

There was this debate about whether those "disciples" are really christians already, because they had not received the Holy Spirit and know little about it, but they knew of a Messiah.

4. What happened here?

a. It’s a tough issue, and full of debate, whether these Ephesian disciples were actually Christians or not before they received this remarkable filling of the Holy Spirit.

i. On the one hand, they are called disciples - and appear to part of the company of Christians in Ephesus, things that would not usually be said of them if they were not actually Christians.

ii. On the other hand, they know so little about Jesus; and they are baptized in water again, this time in the name of Jesus.

iii. So were they Christians already or not? It’s tough to say - but certainly, Paul perceived they lacked something of the Holy Spirit in their lives.

b. What about you? Would someone look at your life and see a conspicuous absence of the Holy Spirit - His peace and power - in your life? What do you see when you look at your own life?

i. These Ephesian disciples sensed their need to get right with God, and knew the answer was in God’s Messiah - but they had gone no further than that. They need to go all the way, trust in everything Jesus is and everything He had done, and to be filled with the power of the Holy Spirit. Is this where you are at?

ii. “Have ye then received the Spirit since you believed? Beloved, are you now receiving the Spirit? Are you living under his divine influence? Are you filled with his power? Put the question personally. I am afraid some professors will have to admit that they hardly know whether there be any Holy Ghost; and others will have to confess that though they have enjoyed a little of his saving work, yet they do not know much of his ennobling and sanctifying influence.” (Spurgeon)

iii. God always wants us to go deeper. We have sipped where we might have drunk deeply, we have drunk deeply where we might have waded, and we have waded where we might have gone full out and plunged in!

c. What if you don’t really know? “Perhaps I’m walking in the fullness of the Holy Spirit right now, perhaps I’m not. I don’t really know.” If you are walking in it, you will know!

i. “Give a man an electric shock, and I warrant you he will know it; but if he has the Holy Ghost, he will know it much more.” (Spurgeon) This isn’t something to hope about; we can know - just as much as you know if you have a house, and a family, and that there are four quarters to the dollar, you can know you are filled with the Holy Spirit.

ii. Many Christians know little or nothing - mentally or experientially - of the Holy Spirit. Paul’s question applies to each of them just as much as it applied to those Ephesian disciples.

Wow, this is some deep thoughts. Haha, i don't think my life/mentality is that deep yet :( perhaps now, i'm just still looking and seeking for things that i think really are worth nothing when compared to this full understanding and knowledge of Christ.

I can know i am filled with the Holy Spirit. Am I?


God will stoop down to meet us even in our crude superstitions. This never means that God is pleased with our superstition, but that in His mercy He may overlook them to meet a need.

Acts 18

God has a special timing for everything in our lives. If Paul could have discerned it, the Holy Spirit was really saying, “wait” when he wanted to go to Ephesus, instead of “no.” Sometimes God says, “wait” and He always knows what He’s doing when He says it!

Acts is really an inspiring, exciting and interesting book! Must always consciously remind myself that this is not a fictious story, but a true-blue-earth account, history! God is really amazing in all the works done through Paul's ministry and many others. He must have travelled to many places to preach the word of God, and to continue to strengthen the disciples!

And my computer is down with some virus :/ everytime the virus notic appears it has this omen-feeling tune. zzz :/

Give me Jesus (:

In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
Give me Jesus

Give me Jesus
Oh give me me Jesus
You can have all this world
Give me Jesus

When I am alone
When I am alone
When I am alone
Give me Jesus

When I come to die
When I come to die
When I come to die
Give me Jesus

It's the last day of 2009! So fast, so fast. Reflections, resolutions and all.

Really thankful that somehow I signed up for the meta camp. I went with a heart, not so much for games (heh) but with some quietness and coming back to God. First day of the camp, I honestly didn't feel really connected to the worship. Not that it was bad or what, but probably my heart was away from God. It showed me something that was quite scary - you can be serving and reading bible daily and all, but you can also be away from God in the midst of doing all these. Shared during cg time that I feel that what I took away from all the workshops and sermons was 1)re-focus 2) renew faith.

It's really easy to be so passionate about Jesus during such camps and then when we go back to school/work life, we lose that passion once again. I pray that I may not lose it. A small flame ignited in my heart may be fanned into a large flame! Also one thing about re-focus, the reason that we can solely live for God. There is indeed a higher calling and purpose for life. About holy living, what that was preached about it's God's sacred trust to us - I find that really meaningful and it actually quite touch my heart that God gives us such a trust.

Do I really believe that God is there? Is He really real? The 'being' is indeed really important. That we may live and know that He is real and He is Alive even though we do not physically see Him - living by faith and not by sight.

So my resolutions for 2010 is.. hehe.
1. Do more scripture memory! Okay, no. Start doing scripture memory! And do the five Ts that Ps Kai talked about.
2. I realise I tend to compartmentalize QT time. It's not only during that time that God is nearer to me or what. Learn to know that the Holy Spirit lives within me i.e. talk to Him about small/big matters!
3. Do readings consistently! Really thank God for this sem's results. Next sem's just gonna be more busy. And really, for marketing - and one business module done!
4. Seek God even more deeply. :]

Also, I was sharing during accountability group time, about the faithfulness of God in my life. This year's definitely saw more tears than before/possibly my entire life. I realise it's easy for me to trust God with things that I could somehow control (such as studies - because usually if you put in work, there'll be results). But for those things that are really beyond your control (such as human relations) it was hard to trust God. But looking back at this year, I think one thing God has been consistently telling me was - God will see me through these dark times and I should rejoice in these times and be thankful in these times! You never know, all these are like the training you're going through before the race. Haha, and it was really aptly summarized in meta camp too!

A humbler posture in life, a higher purpose for life.

Friday!

Freedom! :)

This week

Let's do a quick update of this week!

Monday: good two lessons with my kids! I think lessons are mostly good nowadays. Haha :) bought lunch back home and had dinner with my mummy. So happening right! :)

Tuesday: Didn't have hp101 lecture. Muaha. So had marketing meeting instead and it was.. yup. Then went for my grandfather's birthday dinner! And daddy's car tyre got poked a hole. :/ so we changed tyre at some petrol station nearby. And the man was like realllllyyy helpful. Telling us he thinks we put the thing at the wrong place only after we finished doing it. Don't know, had certain feelings after that.

Wednesday: Supposed to have marketing meeting but? Yup. Anyways hl815 lecture was quite interesting as usual. Haha i think the films they show provoke thoughts. Yup that changing man. Haha, always provoke thoughts about humanity and society. Though I dozed off halfway :p was pretty late for dg also sorry! Had dinner with mummy!! :D at xin wang cafe. HAHA :D

Thursday: went to dental, pain. Then went to school for marketing meeting. Yes meeting. And then stayed in free access lab after that and waited for yu yan to come join me! And samho also. Hehe! Tham jie min spent a hello message to my ntu email. HAHA. 7 years of friendship! My goodness, that's long. And it's funny how we talk such nonsense stuff. Haha! :) went for marketing lecture and was rather late! Muaha. And went for My Sister's Keeper at lot one! Watched those kids dance the dance dance revolution (haha not para para) while waiting for somebody to come. Some danced not bad eh! Saw qian hui (reminds me we haven't met for your present!!!! :/) and ling qiu rong. Feasting away in dian xiao er. Haha! Oh yes, stayed up pretty late to do the marketing presentation. I think everyday was about marketing this week. And the movie made me realise yah, how fortunate I am to be healthy, and have healthy family members!

Friday: Amazing how I got to school on time for lecture. But had a tummy ache!! I quite like hypothesis testing for some reason. More than like the normal stats stuff. Haha must start reading like SOON. yup! And then had hp102 meeting. Talk about one more project, and one more hw101 assignment. Niceee. And then marketing.. don't talk about it haha.
And had dinner with tham jie min at sakae!! :D :D :D :D Tham jie min, I know you'll read this part someday when you are bored. Haha! I'm very thankful for a friend like you! :D I think somehow we don't grow up (though we are, as in you get what i mean right) haha! But it's always nice to talk about silly and stupid things as though we are kids once again. Let's chill more together! Muahahaha. And slacked there till near 9pm! Haha. Oh yes tham jie min wore some nice nice shirt also!! Hehe.

Saturday: Today! Oops. Just woke up not long ago :p too tired from yesterday.

All in all, I want to thank God for this week. Certainly, He saw me through this week. I had a lot of thoughts, and feelings that I myself don't even understand. But thank God He knows me even more than myself. Not that I know what I feel about certain things now. But I really want to pray that I will treat others geniunely. Not say like it's fine it's fine and in my heart it's really not fine. I guess yup many things call for reflections and all. And also thank God for His grace that He speaks to me through His words. I guess I come to conclude, that even though things really do not go the way I hope they would, but guess what. God is God. And there's no chance that my plans are better than His right. The word says, all things work for the good for those who love God. It is real. That His love is better than life. And no matter what happens, I want to learn to be grateful. Because they all happen for a good reason. Yup

Thursday

Hello! Guess where I am now :p I'm at............(drum rooolllllll).........HSS Free Access Lab! Muaha, Lab No.1. Okay, please stop stalking me. Haha!

Anyways, yesterday was such a fun, and meaningful day. Had surprisingly enough energy to even respond to my alarm clock yesterday, of which I really thank God because I know this energy came from Him. :) was quite excited for yesterday because of blitz and cg. Haha. Wednesday is my cg day. Anyways, blitz was a good experience, opened my eyes to many things and to see the state of perhaps the campus, or singapore or youths, probably not the world (too gerenalized already) okay. Had a sort of mixed feeling after that, but thank God for the journaling time at night, where i slowly unpacked the events of the day. Better write things down before I forget. (Must associate more things with my long term memory when they're in short term memory! hehehehe.) While writing down, I realised that indeed, it is all in God's plan, perhaps it could be just sowing. Then i recalled somewhere in the bible, it says you reap what you sow, and those who sow with tears will reap with joy (or somewhat like that) and you never know. I came with my own expectations, and perhaps it didn't 'meet' my expecations. But ultimately all that happened was in God's Top Secret Big Plan. teehee! So, i rejoice and am glad for that opportunity to do this. :) Oh yes, and talked quite a little to Charmanie (did I get it right? Sorry, I'm so bad at remembering names. My frontal lobe (haha) is probably remembering other stuff. But my temporal love works just as fine when it comes to face recognition! :D)

And it was Tham's first day at work again at Finance. Hehe! Very happy! :D and today someone so cool, going all the way to serangoon with her colleagues just for crabs! Better kop one crab back for me.

HL815 lecture was thought-invoking. HAHA. Nice time talking about it a little more with Rachel Soh. Thanks for the cookie! :p very nice! Michelle didn't want it so I got the whole cookie to myself yay! HAHA. Went off with Michelle who kindly walked up to North, cos my lecture was there and hers was at HSS. Thanks tan! :D I had a very fun time (though it was pretty short) talking to you too!! And not to say we got seats on the bus!! Hehe.

Trained down to tiong bahru, and overshot hehee. Met ruth for dinner at mos burger! We finished in quite a short time. Haha. And went for cg! Cg reminded me, that prayer indeed is more than talking. Really thank God also, for the celebration for joseph.

I also thank God for bringing various 'new' people in addition to the cg. I enjoy the jokes that the others make. Haha! Though I don't really make much jokes. But they're actually really funny. Hahahaha. And I realised I like cg more now. Not just the people, but also it's a very special time, when you can come and talk with fellow friends who are brothers and sisters about God in this warm cosy home at Janie's place.

The days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast. :)

Tuesday

hello! :) i'm at the hss free access lab now! So today was a cool day, staying at home and sleeping till 9.30am! very long never sleep till after 9am already :/ that explains why i feel tired these few days. hehe. And it was pouring pouring pourrrrinnnnnggggggggggg... Then in my sub-conscious state of mind (haha) i keep hearing mummy talking to me. Haha! I think she wore the new shirt we bought for 25 bucks out today, then she was very happy because it makes her look good. :p

so anyways... pourrrring...haha! Okay the picture isn't my house! Just kopped from the net.


Strangely, when i woke up at 9.30am i felt as if i slept for a very long time. No dreams, haha no rapid eye movement (rem stage MUAHA.) listened to some worship songs on youtube, it's really nice. And then went off to meet rachel to go to school together! Yippee, i wasn't late! Heheeee :D and then did hw101 group work, and saw michelle tan, donica and her friend at free access lab too. Haha there was a guy eating his lunch beside me, can eat in free access lab meh? Anyways, lunched after that. And planned secretive things! Hehe. Tomorrow's gonna be an exciting day. And dozed off a little during psych lecture just now. :/

womberle womberle. HAHA :D okay waiting for time to pass and then can leave school and meet mummy! Yay papa going to fetch us home later! :D

Today's verse..coincidentally. 1 Peter 2:1,2 cg vision/motto/mission (haha whichever it is). Rid myself of all malice, deceit, envy and slander of every kind. Went to check up those meanings at onelook.com (hehe) and.. deceit means everything else except the truth, slander means saying things that may be false that wrongly accuses someone else. Envy means feeling resentful at other's successes. I guess at some point of time, i do commit all this :/ need to rid myself of it! A one time event. :)

I'm gonna learn one page of music one day (hopefully) hehe. Now i'm doing flight of the bumblebee. Tham says there's people who acapella it. HAHA. it's crazy maNz. :p

Mondays off

Hello! :D today i had a very fun day with tham jie min. MUAHAHAHAHA. our cup noodles lunch! Hehe and the boiling water, and then the xiao zhong's FOG. haha it was really funny eh. Nice being at tham's house's dining table to study! Haha, talk about those times when we studied math for As man. Haha! And geog also!! Then we went to ajisen to eat! And jalan jalan a while after that. How excite right! :)

Anyways today was a good day with my two piano lessons also :) really want to give thanks, because through all the things that happened, i think God allowed me to find the joy of teaching/piano back. Instead of doing things just through the motion and finding it not something worth looking forward to (i.e. burden) haha. Yup. really glad :) though the journey wasn't easy.

I can't upload my photos onto the computer. And since i'm such a technology noob, i shall try it later another day when i'm free :p hehe. Yay! Going for a concert on friday. Like finally! Don't know if it'll turn out good a not, given the tchai's no.1 the other time (haha!)

samantha ho rocks :D

hello! i am in hw101 lecture hahaha! samantha ho is such a nice girl! she helped me change my blogskin :) :) it's so nice now! yay :D i have no time to blog so samantha ho is helping me blog now!

i have a marketing presentation today! i am going to present 15 slides in 5 minutes :D i rehearsed myself at home HAHA! i am so sleepy now ): can't wait for lunch :D

okay hopefully i will have time to blog again soon! bye!

Hi there! :) I'm at business library now! haha. okay, feeling so opened because everyone can see what i'm typing. haha! gee. People really do change. Things won't stay the same way as the good oldddd times. And yup, i think it's quite true, keep those past as your memory and 'nutrition' (MUAHA) and move on with life! Okay taa!

It's so funny how vast the internet can be... and how it makes people more connected, and not. And it's rather interesting to note that, the same thing can be very pleasant to one, and very unpleasant to someone else. Haha, how time fliess. On 1 july, i was really rather hmmm amazed and a little scared to see just how fast time pass. 1 july! :/ okay, but still have to move on. Haha! And to see how people's lives are getting on (my sub-conscious favourite hobby) okay. that's it. bye!

work can be pretty interesting! It got my friend tham jie min to start planning ahead (not twoheads MUAHA) for her future! See what philosophical statements she can make!

QUOTE FOR THE DAY! :D


NO DREAM, NO GOAL, NO FUTURE

-tham, 14/5/2009

It's funny, how time can change so many things. And how time can change one's character/behaviour or etc. And also how it can make you realise certain things that you used to value are not as important to you anymore. How funny it is.

Hmm, i was browsing through the profiles of my 'friends' in facebook. HAHA! okay i think i sub consciously have a liking for such a hobby. Anyways, as i was kaypohing with some random secondary school friends' profiles, i realised that we've all almost grown up a lot since last time. Haha, it's funny how time fliessssssssssssssssss by so quickly. And everyone has a life of their own now! Hmm, don't know if i'm saying this right, but i guess life really keeps changing all the time. Probably five years down the road, you'll meet a whole new bunch of people and i don't know. Haha, who can tell what will happen in the future right.

Sometimes, we always see a certain thing from our own point of view and never ever once considered that there could possibly be another view. Hmmm, sometimes we get so worked up over small issues. Most of the time, it is not because of that issue, but because we are restless within our soul, probably something is bugging in our hearts. I don't know why i suddenly write all these down. Haha! but it's fun to kaypoh other people's profiles and blogs :p hehehehehe!

No matter what, i know i will never ever touch a certain kind of lifestyle, this i am very sure. Talking about dreams/ideal career/whatever, i really still don't know. We'll see when it comes! :D

Hi there! HAHA :D okay i'm at the Youth Hub now. Muaha, just taught 3 teens! And one of them is very funny. Muaha i can't help it then i burst out laughing. Okay and i felt very lazyyy today. Hehe!

Hi there again blog! I've gotta rest early for psychometric test tomorrow to be in the best mental state of mind! haha :D anyways today's lunch was hmm, rather worthy to blog about. HAHA so i am going to blog about it now! it's the first time i ever see such things happen. fatty sean was so into the pumpkin soup, the waitress wanted to clear it already then he blurted out erm this one still want one. well, for someone like fatty sean it's reasonable! but then it was like so funny, they saw how much he loved the soup they gave him an extra bowl. hur! and it was quite funny also cos everything came all at once, we couldn't see the table for quite some time until everything was cleared. haha! okay that's about it. hehe!

Hi there blog, I feel very, my heart is full. Hehe :) :) And I honestly like this feeling! :) A feeling of being assured, and secure. Very glad I went to cell today. :) God is a Mighty God, and above that, He is my Father :)

Hi there http://dorrtxx.blogspot.com. Haha it's been quite some time since i wrote something up here. Well, its like 2.24am now. And somehow days seem to pass so quickly nowadays. It like i wake up for a while, then do some stuff, then the day ended! :/ glad i called R just now. Haha R. somehow told her something that keeps bothering me on and off and on and off. Brrrrr. Don't really like that feeling. And she shared some 'jokes' too. Haha one really funny joke. It's funny, how everyone has a very different life of their own. How human beings are related to one another. How we interact with one another. And how some small actions can leave an impact in someone else's life. Been through quite a lot the past few months, not easy, but it's over and i can gladly say that I really like how my life is now. Haha, can earn money and have my own free time, something that is probably not what you can do at every stage of your life. Scary isn't it, to grow up. But it's true, we're entering the next stage of our lives. Or rather we are already at the next stage of our lives. Okay that's about it. Probably i should get some sleep now. Hee

What a day. (: I woke up at 1.30pm today!! :/ and rushed like mad for my 2pm 5-year-old kid. On the way, i really wasn't very familiar with the directions to get there. Somehow i can leave from there to lot one, but i can't go there from lot one with like the same kind of confidence. Haha, and yah. I thought choa chu kang primary was that iconic thing popping up, and my goodness, it was how far away. I really felt quite lost eh. Some more i was running late already :/ thank goodness somehow i found the way there! :D lesson was okay! He's really well-behaved i felt. Hehe.
While i was coming out to meet mummy for dinner, there was this big big big big rainbow! :D so pretty eh. It reminded me, of the-rainbow-story. Haha, that's what i call it. I remember God made it rain for so long, i think it was 40 days continuously, to wipe out everyone on earth except Noah and family plus all the animals. And after that Big Rain, God sent a rainbow - a promise to not send such a big rain anymore. A promise that sees God's grace and mercy flowing out. And His forgiveness that is so so great. It warmed my heart alot. Alot. :):):) The rainbow was really big, so pretty. And it's not that i get to see a rainbow everyday, it's been long. And it's such a funny day in my life, that God chooses to put a rainbow in the sky today.

What a beautiful picutre! :) Oh my, I've really got it all mixed up! No wonder, I was thinking how in the world can that happen. My brain.. seems to be lagging even more than usual during this long break!

Anyways that's such a funny picture. Haha! Teaching is requires so much more studying than studying as a student. I think I'm becoming more and more aunty as days pass. This cannot be! And we shall practise piano more diligently.. I better! Life has been great thus far! :) :) But it feels like a season of life which I've never experienced before. Time has become so much more flexible, I get to choose which days I wanna teach, okay not that I get to choose. As in, it's not a regular time-tabled life anymore. Which I'm still a little not used to, that's why I find it a little disorganised :/ But yup. Its a new experience! :D I like gatherings, and meeting up with friendssssssss. See, I have friends! :)

:) I had fun today though it was tiring! I really like shopping in supermarkets eh. Though i bought some funny form of satay. Heh. :):):) Nevermind, then people will remember the special satay we had. I like being like that eh, i was telling tham it feels like we're sec 4 all over again! :D Hehe, hope all had fun today catching up with life. And rachel soh still stays the same, so easy to trick once and again. Haha! It was nice seeing all of them again! :) And guan ri made a new friend called meow!

HI THERE! LOOKING FOR CHILDREN/TEENS/ADULTS WHO ARE INTERESTED TO LEARN PIANO FOR EXAM/LEISURE PURPOSE. PLEASE CALL 91552690 OR EMAIL TO gladys__heng@hotmail.com FOR MORE INFORMATION. THANKS MANY MANY! (:

Share your thoughts... Hmm. This week had been week that expose me to things that i have never done before. I do feel sad at those ocassions, but.. is this all a process of growing up? Reflecting upon life, and the Word.. It's good, because an unexamined life is not good right. Happy things and not so happy things, kind of summed up this week. Taking a step back, looking at life. Okay, this is such an abstract post, i shall stop here. Haha!

You never know what/who's reading your blog! Although i think nobody actually really reads it. Haha!

I actually wanted to use another blogskin!!! But it turned out weird, so this is my second pick! :) YAY! :):):) hope it's not as common as the previous one. Haha and i forgot to save my c box code again, so there goes my tagboard again! :) Muaha. Get it back some time later lah, no hurry. :) Waiting for march hols to come, to see my psix kids again! :) Hope they're doing well. :)

And i kind of like Bach's Toccata in E minor the Adagio part. It sounds very nice eh. :) Bach wrote it for employment eh. Sounds like that piece's purpose is rather simliar to my life now. Haha :) practise smart!

Hello tan! :D I know your job is VERY tough!!!! Some more you still have english :/ but I believe you are still staying there for a very special reason! :) that you'll grow stronger and become closer to God! :) i hope that everyday your kids will listen to you carefully and that they'll stop playing in class!! :D :D :D

See you tomorrow!! :D Miss tan! Hehe. :D

And i'm sleeping back all my sleep that i've missed since sec 4 till now! MUAHA. :D

Sometimes, i really don't understand. I don't know, still not knowing what to feel over it. :/ but, since it already happened, there must be a reason for it to happen! A reason that is good, better than what i can imagine. But somehow it still left an impact in my life. The way people deal with things, aren't really very nice after all. Or maybe there are even more important reasons why is it handled this way. But still, it isn't nice to treat someone like that right. I don't know. To say that i am nor hurt by it at all, i'd be lying. :/

But God says, 'This is the day that the Lord had made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.' The very reason of a living God watching over me and loving me so much, is something to rejoice in! :)

And also i am reminded of Job, 'The Lord gave, the Lord take it away, Blessed be The Name of The LORD!' :)

Just need some time to quiet down, and all will be fine! :)

Many things that i've planned, i cannot carry it out now. Hope they get someone who can give them something much better than i can. :) I'll miss some of them! :/

God has a plan, a plan far greater than my plan.

School

Today was the first day of school! I'm not school-less anymore. (: Waited for M outside the school gate, cos i was scared the security guard find me suspicious again like that time. Hehe, and we clocked in at 7am! :D and left at 2.30pm. What a long day we worked!

First day of school was... Funny being a teacher. Playing some games, that were not very interesting with the class, that i scrapped the whole idea of playing games. And realising that asking them to introduce themselves one by one didn't work at alllllll. Failed completely! :( boo.

Realising i should plan more stuff! Actually i need more time to think i guess. Today i had, one hour math, one hour music, half hour health ed, two hours ss. Wow, wonder how did i survive today. Haha

Anchor verse today was jeremiah 29:11. But what was said after that struck me a lot too. From what i remember... It was, you have to seek the Lord, wholeheartedly, and you will find Him (:

Kind of thankful first day of school is a friday! :D let my feet rest for two days and back to work. Haha, monday monday monday! And i have more time to plan! :D The other teachers were nice too. Haha, very funny. They like to joke about their age among themselves. Haha.

And i devised some new ways to help time pass more quickly in class!! :D time had never felt sooooooooooooooo wols. :)

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm................... hooray? hooray!

Hi blog! :)

It's 2009! Happy New Year to whoever who reads this blog! :D HAHA, oh man, can't believe michelle tan actually wrote rather accurately about things i felt about 2008. So much as happened in 2007 and 2008. It kind of felt like yesterday was just the beginning of 08. So fast! It's perhaps one of my busiest year!

I'm really glad for last night, what a meaningful way to go into the new year. It's such an encouragement to me, a newness that is symbolised by the new year. And i kind of can't believe i'm going to start teaching in like... tomorrow. HAHA! :D It's really amazingggggg how God gave me this job, and plus plus plus - blessed me with michelle tan also. Hehe! Tan, aren't you happy i say this? But its really beyond all that i can comprehend that I have this job now. Everything just feels... so blessed. Really, who am i to deserve all this?

I really want to use my time wisely, make my life a good gift to God who gave me this life. :) feels so funny, don't know what God has in store for me tomorrow!

In 2009... uncover new things about yourself! :) hehe.

Also, 2008 had been a really eventful year. I can still remember the feeling i had when doing resolutions for 2008, don't know if i had followed it. Haha. But i really learnt a lot through everything that i went through. :)

Looking back at 08's resolutions, haha so funny i just realised michelle tan helped me write 08's resolutions and helped me sum up 08. HAHA :) i thought those were rather funny resolutions. This year, i have more serious resolutions that i in fact really do hope to achieve! :D

HELLO! gladysheng is too engrossed cleaning her room! A nice friend like me decided to help her blog! HAHA :D

Heng had a difficult year! But she is really thankful that it is finally coming to an end! MEP, band practices and school work have stressed her out greatly! But through God's unending love, she has managed to stand above all these adverstities! HAHA :D I make you sound like you have fought some battle for the school like that! HEE.

Heng is also really grateful that she will be working with me next year. I can't believe we are still going to see each other EVERY SINGLE DAY! HAHA. so much for my mummy saying that we all have to grow up, leave our comfort zone and go our separate ways! HAHA. I think my mummy just said a funny joke (:

Let's try to look mature and professional on the first day of school! HhAHA(: and I'm sure the students won't laugh at your surname lahs heng! HEE. I wish you ALL THE BEST in the many hundreds portfolio that you have to collect and all the singapore history that you have to repeat! HAHAHA!

anyways, have a great countdown at church later! BYEBYE! I guess gladysheng misses switz trip but not 2008!

signing off, Michelle Tan!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY THAM JIE MIN! :D you're finally 18 but you don't behave like 18! But that's alright, i'll still friend you!!! :D HAHAHAHA this is a really funny photo of you. I remember all those days we were in bp! :D badminton and band (HAHA but i forget quite some things about marching) but you were very funny! :D

Let's be life-long friends, like life-long learning! :D and don't shift house ok, if not i can't call you to go home together already. HAPPY BIRTHDAY THAM! and see you tomorrow! :D

Hi! :D I'm at michelle's house now blogging! How cool right. Waiting for 7pm plus to come so that i can meet my mum for dinner! :D And i'm wanted by a school for relief teaching! Hehe. :) :) And michelle says she's proud of me! Thank you thank you.

Its been close to three weeks since As ended, and i've thought a lot a lot alot. Met up a lot with jie min, rachel and michelle. And miss gan and miss tang. Went back to band quite a few times. And gymmed too! Should really start practising piano soon. Really practise! And i called up this place for a piano teacher job too. Hehe.

Nodame pursued piano at a professional level to be able to one day perform a piano concerto with chiaki. What about me? What do i play piano for? Hmm, i've thought a lot about that. And i guess, probably its because recently i discovered that music can really express all emotions. It can make someone happy, make someone tear, one day i also hope to use this gift that God gave to speak to the hearts of others too. Okay hehe :)

And christmas is coming soon! :D Something special to me, because it reminds me of how much God loved us. <3

I've got over it! :) :) :) i should not wallow in the troubles i have, but rather to just pray and pray and pray and pray, until something happens. I know He is Almighty. I know, He won't abandon nor forsake me, and my loved ones. Whatever that happens in life and in the future, He has a plan for it. And this plan has ways that are much higher than my ways. So, I'll just keep on praying.

And haha michelletan, i DID NOT disturb your plan for today okay! :D:D:D:D i bet you had a fun time hanging out with me too! :D ok happy going out tomorrow and just to tell you, i finally successfully copied you and signed up for relief teaching. Hehe, thanks for being such a wonderful and nice friend. :D

And tham jie min! Haha, pardon my indecisiveness. Haha! I read your blog! :D Hope you read mine. Haha :D i want to see what you got for me eh! Finally giving me my present! Next thursday you free? Let's go steamboat! :D Its the first day of your 18th year of life. Haha :D

I've went back to school many times since holidays started! Such a funny life. And I've did quite a many things, met up a lot with people whom I haven't been seeing because of As. Just so glad that As ended. :)

And thank God, for everything. :)

When lilacs last in the door-yard bloom'd, referring to Walt Whitman's poem, programmtic heading of the middle movement of Sonata Op.11 No.3

When lilacs last in the door-yard bloom'd
When lilacs last in the door-yard bloom'd
When lilacs last in the door-yard bloom'd

New Objectivity states that music should be widely accessible, communicated clearly, and draw connections to the events and concerns of the time.
It opposed complexitiy, and promoted the use of familiar elements, borrowing from jazz and popular music, or traditional music.
New Objectivity thinking in music states that the style of a particular work should be based on the character and function chosen for it.

Soldier's Tale (1918)

According to Stravinsky, my choice of instrumentation was influenced by the discovery of American jazz. The Histoire Band resembles that of a jazz band. The percussion part must also be considered as manifestation for my enthusiasm for jazz. I borrowed its rhythmic style, not as played but as written.

Concerto for Piano and Winds (1924)
Movement I: Dotted rhythm intro and Allegro section of relentless driving rhythm
Movment III: Percussive use of piano in the starting

Symphony in C (1940)
Use of Symphony, Sonata form
Principal theme introduced at R5 by oboe accompanied with violin II and viola. Harmonic ambiguity when melody is C major, viola and violin II strong sugguest E pedal. Percussive effect of viola and violin II instead of their lyrical qualities. Antiphony 4 bars before R2

Symphony of Psalms (1930)
Movement I: Octatonic scale, changing meters and unexpected rests in the opening that creates metrical instability. Gregorian Chant at R4, its a plain song of Roman Catholic Church, uses only two notes, against the multiple ostinato patterns in oboe, english horn and bassoon. R9 percussive use of piano. Omission of violin, viola and clarinet to avoid an emotional sound palette. Moto perpetuo. Scoring of double reeds that resembles a renaissance consort.
Movment II: fully developed fugue with tonic-dominant statements and strettos.

That's all for Stravinsky! Plus Pulcinella (1919-1920)!

According to Grove Dictionary, neo-classicism is the movement of style in the works of certain 20th century composers, who, particularly between the two world wars (1918-1939), revived the balanced forms and clearly perceptible thematic processes from the earlier styles, to replace what was to them, the increasingly exaggerated gestures and formlessness of late-Romanticism.

According to Grove Dictionary, neo objectivity is the simultaneous emergence of socio-political and artistic trends that emphasized the democratization of all areas of life. It is a term coined by Gustav Friedrich Hartlurb. Haha, okay i still think its a funny name. Fried-rich Hart-lurb. Reminds me of lard.

According to Stravinsky, he say that Pulcinella is his discovery of the past, the epiphany through which the whole of his late works became possible.

According to Morgan, Pulcinella has the unmistakenable flavour of 18th century music, but the original was subtly transformed so that it takes on a new and unexpected Stravinskian character. He also said that the point for Stravinsky is not to go back to the past, but to revitalize certain basic traditional compositional assumptions in ways consistent with the comtemporary harmonic and rhythmic practices.

According to Hindemith, he say that the 19th century concertos are being erred by degrading concertos into uncontrolled virtuosity and symphonic tensions.

look at my retarded friend, Miss T. Haha! :D

tham says:
alright darling
tham says:
talk to you later in the day
tham says:
im coming soon ahhahaha
tham says:
*coming back
tham says:
have fun piano-ing
tham says:
or studying
tham says:
or whatever
tham says:
ugh
tham says:
i dono
tham says:
alright bye

Tuesday, Wednesday! :D
All the Best Lit friends! Hooray your exams finally finished today! :D

:D

I think what Pastor KK said today is very meaningful! He said, there was once this message he heard when he was young, that one day when we will be accountable for all the things we did before God, and there will be this video flashing everything that we did in our lives. And then has he grew up, he realised there was truth and untruth within this message he heard. The truth is that, one fine day, we will have to be accountable to God for our lives. The way we lived our lives, the sins we've committed and etc. But, the other truth is that the video will just be blank! :) because in God's abundant and gracious love, he erased our sins, he did not forget them, but he forgave them. :) :)

I just feel very comforted and touched by hearing this. I guess we'll never know how much God's love is. Breakthrough, comes with transformation.

And my mama did two good deeds today! Haha, so proud of her. And i went to the greenridge music centre haha to ask if they needed a piano teacher.

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and hooray!! :D :D :D

See you soon tham jie mOn! :D

It is the 5% of private life, not the 95% of public life that matters most to God. (:

Hindemith, Stravinsky and Milhaud! Okay, so far i've only gao-timed them. Haha. Sonata for Cello Op.25 No.3, Suite 1922, Ragtime 1921, Kammermusik no.1,2,4,7, Symphonic Metamorphosis after a theme of Carl von Weber, Ludus Tonalis, Zeitoper "News of the Day", Death's Death, Murder, The Hope of Women, Symphony Mathis der Maler, Symphony of Psalms(1930), Pulcinella Suite (1919-1920), Symphony in C (1940), Concerto for Piano and Winds (1924), The Nothing Doing Bar (1924), Suite Provencale (1936)

Gamelan, Java, Bali, Indian, Hindustani, Carnatic, Tabla, Sitar, Sarod, Sarangi, Veena, Violin, Mridangam, Ghatam, Kanjira, Morsing

Such a sweet sweet sweet sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet ending!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3


HAHAHAHAHA :D

I'm so slow eh. :/ the drama was produced like ten years ago, heh. And i only watch it now! :D eh, but i really think that guy is quite handsome. Ok, i should stop saying the same thing. :p And there's this song i like in the drama. Sometimes, come to think of it. Music really has this unspoken effect, somehow some tune can penetrate right into your heart and i don't know. Haha :)

I'm at SIM now! Haha :) and i'm blogging with their computer. How cool right. Hmm, something more exciting happened today, like that weird guy who kept scolding this aunty at a bus stop some where in china town. Singapore seems to be having more strange aunty/uncle nowadays, Haha li ting, remember that chilli aunty? :/

But on the whole, i really think eldery is a group of people we ought to care for. Think about it, when they were young, they live in a Singapore which is not as developed as it is now. And now that they are old, so many of them have to come out and do cleaner jobs. Sometimes i feel rather bad to have them clear the plates for me :/ thanks aunty/uncles!

And china town is really an authenic ethnic enclave. Really, i think it gives China foreigners a better sense of belonging. Haha! :) great job PAP! In the re-imaging strategies. And anyways, i really concluded that Cambridge is really rather exotic. The questions they set are.. and i really really think that transport problems will come out next year for human geography. So j1s who take h2 geog, please go study that. Heh :)

And the library should be about to close soon! :) still got one more paper to go! And i haven't decide which direction to take in the future. And, for the record, i actually bought books. Yes! :D i hope i do get a chance to read them. Haha! :D and i bought this cute sticker too. Yay! And christmas is coming soon!! And my jap drama, i really think it scammed me. It's something like the f4 meter garden, except that its all in jap, and i think the guys are better. Haha i don't know, just my opinion! But the point when she confessed to the guy's sister that she still really likes him a lot, i think it was just a little sad. That she have to act like she doesn't care and stuff like that. Tsktsk, i shall continue watching it tonight! Hehehehehehehehe :) :) and i kind of like that girl!

Can't wait to hang out with miss tham at her house to watch nodame! :D Yay all this will happen soon! In another two weeks time!! :D and for some of my classmates, they already ended exams! So good! :)

And this is such a long post. :D okay, ta! And hsm made me think more about music as a future option! Okay, not exactly an option. Not like i choose them, but they choose me. I'm still not sure leh, if i should continue this path.

And i think hearing the news everyday ok well almost everyday for the past two weeks before gp had help me to open my perspection of the world. So, the world is really really really really, that complicated. Sometimes, i wonder what Barack Obama is doing now as i type this post. Haha! :D

HELLO HENG!

I can't believe you started A's with only F-I-V-E papers and you already at your second last! HAHA. I had to survived through three terrible consecutive days of paper before I can finally say I'm at my 2nd last..

We can start enjoying our 12 days break to our last paper!

and you're going to watch HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 with liting today! Oriana says she can't believe that you're gg to watch that movie for Zac Efron! HAHA :D

Oh... i dunno how to find your NON-EXISTANT tagboard leh! HAHA!

im your loveliest FRIEND(: MICHELLE!!! HAHA.

This is the day that the Lord had made, I will rejoice and be glad in it! :D

Yay! Okay, i kind of like those pictures, so niceeee. :) Indeed, this is the day that the Lord had made and I will rejoice and be glad in it! Everyday! And indeed, we live by God's grace on a day by day basis, and God's grace is like a never ending river. Happy econs today!

yay! :) this is my 80th post! Happy 80th post! :) and my tagboard is lost in somewhere in cyberworld. :( Actually, i think i'm really very noob. Other people around my age, know a lot of stuff happening around the world, not just know what's going on, but exactly the story of those stories. Sundays without piano lessons now are more relaxing! :) yay! bye to school for five days, band on saturday and piano on sunday! :D went to malaysia for lunch just now. Heh, the malaysia duck. And since it's a Sunday, i'm going to give myself a rest! For its a Sabbath right, a good rest with a little reading up on news! :)

Just now, when we were halfway through our meal, it starts pouring very heavily. Heavy heavy heavy rain!! And then i thought the waiter and waitress were very nice. Especially this guy, he only thought of sheltering the customer and forgot that he was getting nearly drenched. Maybe this is one of the way to show love and care for others too! :)

Okay, i'm not going to say how long more it is till As. Quickly come quickly go! :D :D :D and yes, this week had been an eventful week of staying at home. Math, geog, gp, math, geog, gp bla bla bla. But okay lah, two more weeks! And i think i'm going to pick up my reading again. The last book i read was.... The Da Vin Ci Code :/ okay, that's really outdated. Haha! I remember reading during lesson time in sec4! :D and i took such a long time to read it. Plus all my fines i accumulated in National Library because of my Berlioz books, tsktsk i think i'm born without the reading genes. Okay, what a long post. Isn't it? :) :)

It's such a nice weather to sleep! :D and take a stroll in the park. Hehe

Hello! I went to school to study today! :) i did vectors in the library at my favourite corner, and still dozedd off (again :/) after lunch! And i bought the 1.20 math thing. Haha, actually to think of it it is really rather ambitious to do finish the 19 dollars one. Haha! Ok, i think my doing-math-pace is improving! :D yay! And i did a little more news research! :) and i have a few thoughts!

The world is really not at peace :/ so many conflicts everywhere, we should really be glad that Singapore is like rather safe as compared to other places. The financial crisis, maybe its time for people to realise that it is not good being greedy. Hope wall street won't crash like it did in mep history :/ maybe a new wave of music will rise. Ok, haha i anyhow say one. But it sounds really bad :/ though i don't take econs. And and and, nothing much already actually. Today was more of politics news!

Shall finish up complex numbers later in the revision package. The whole world is at the last few pages of the package, and i'm still at the first few :(

And yay! Studying with Soh and Tham on monday, breakfast with Lee on tuesday before geography mock and after that will be asian consultation! mep mock on saturday!

And the ac games thing is really funny. Haha, just look at how many people there is. Haha! :D

What a long post! :D

Shout to the North and the South
Sing to the East and the West
Jesus is Saviour to all
Lord of heaven and earth


Today is the last day of school! Yes, as much as i really don't like waking up so early and rush here rush there for lessons, i kind of like school too. :) i think ac is special in this special way.. i really feel that the teachers here are rather different. as in, for some of them who personally taught me. it's nothing like that of bp. maybe because in ac, its like we put this whole education thing in His hands, and its something that i never experiecned before. and i really thank God for that.

These two years flewwwwwww past. really. so many things happened, i've learnt so much, and perhaps grown up a little too i hope! :D hehe. so now is the time to mug and mug and mug!

And class lunch was quite fun! :) i do like my class!

WOW! The world is soooooooooooooooo BIG!

Ok, my beloved hong kong drama is loading so slowly on my computer, that i decided to change a blogskin! HEHEHEHE :D yay! i feel more tech savy now. Hehe! :)

And to Miss Gan, hope your econs test is going to be fine! :D

ok, just three more minutes of the video, and then i'll start doing math. This is bad, i'm supposed to do math. And i didn't go to school today! Heh. The last friday of school, and i spent it at home. And i have been having strange dreams recently! Haha, dreams that makes no sense to me. But they're quite funny. And i watched project runaway yesterday. Hehe :D

And i've been eating a lot this week leh. Must be after the completion of all the mep stuff, everytime complete something the apetite just comes and we'll somehow go out and celebrate and eat a lot. Hurhur. Talk about the stuff we ate at pastamania, haha! Okay, the video is kind of killing away my mood to watch the video. Its taking up so much time pausing every now and then, strange video.

ok, YAY! :) in the end i played mazurka too! :) and i have this feeling that i exceeded the time limit. yay, its really really over! so fast leh, from like last year, until now. really over. and now left one month to As and one week left of school. hmm, i think i've learnt a lot these two years in jc. people do come and go in our lives.. i guess that's just life. and life really isnt that simple. and sometimes, its the really minute things that we take for granted, so many things. and we forget to give thanks for these things and instead feel disappointed by other things. and i shall start spending time on math again! and make it as good as A math standard. heh. :) and then i'll mug more geography too!

Goodbye, farewell Mazurka :( :( and i shall learn to embrace chaccone. Sigh, sigh sigh. Just when i started to feel quite a bit for mazurka, then have to drop it. All good things come to an end. Hur hur. Ok september will just be very musical! After practical, then i'll feel more relaxed. Quickly come, quickly go! :) i actually do feel sad that i have to drop it and hence i'm telling this to the blog. Hmm, i shall practise piano like never before! Heh.

LET'S KICK BUTT! :D

Billabong slippers (200?-2008)

Dearest billabong slippers,

Though you're quite lousy, so slippery and all, but you're quite comfortable after all! After the few years of friendship, i think its quite sad that you had to be thrown away in vienna. But nevermind, vienna's quite a cool place right. So you didn't really suffer much too. More like i suffered more!! Hope you're doing fine in vienna now. Sorry, have to separate both of you from one another. Sorry that doctor lee stepped on you! And to think i washed you till you were quite clean the day before you spolit. Oh wells.. Have fun in vienna! :D

slackfart days and busy bee days! i love slackfart days!! :D

children, help your parents to be the best parents.
parents, help your kids to be the best kids.
how true.
:)

just, trust. :) when life seems blurry, and really blurry, just trust. :)

Hi there! :D hmmmm. I guess everyone gets their fair portion of the downs of life. And yah, its true. That song was really true. Just like how the grape has to be fried/whatever you call that to become wine, we also have to go through trials and difficulties to become stronger or more Christ-like. But many a times, i guess we responded wrongly. We question about life. Why is this happening to me? Why me? But these are the special downs of life that God designed for each one of us, all different and unique for everyone of us, to show us His glory in such circumstances. Just like how high the sky is from the earth, so is God's ways higher than ours. Very true indeed. :) because God promised that He'll never forsaken me, so i have victory over the bad days of life. Trust in Him, trust in Him all you can because God never fails :)

Hello tham! :D Hehe. I miss mugging and playng badminton with you! Although i'm really bad at it! :D you funny girl. Tell me more stuff when it's 'confirmed' OKAY! :D haha. FRIENDS FOREVER. HAHAA :D

hi there world! :D let me tell you something really cool.

i'm actually awake now!! :D YES YES YES! away from my bed! :D YES! :D

hehe. I'm so proud of myself. Okay, i'm going to start mugging math soon! :D to do finish my tutorial 25! i need a vlee within me. Haa. I'm so going to get that A. okay, at least i try to. haha go go go! :D

oh man, i'm feeling so excited now! :D i can't wait for band competition day! :D hehehehehheee. press on yah! a few more days to go only. :D hehe.

i think i'm getting senile. yah! that's bad.

i don't seem to remember many things. that's worse! :( i remember on monday, i got up from my bed to prepare for school. so i went to the toilet to brush my teeth. i combed my hair, then tie it up nice nice as i usually do hehe, and then i went back to sit on my bed. after like 10 seconds, i suddenly realised i haven't brush teeth yet :/ and then! i totally cannot remember how did i go to bed yesterday. i was sitting on my chair and resting my head on the table so that if i doze off i can wake up and do homework again. but guess what. i woke up next morning and wondered how did i get onto my bed. tsk. that's really bad leh.

happy friendship day! :D

Guess what! :D i'm in the school's computer lab now mugging math complex numbers. :) can't believe i'm doing this. Mugging in computer lab. Before band starts. The more i mug, the sleepier i get. Tsktsk, why isit so! So irritating. How i wish the more i mug, the more excited and happy i get. Haha :D so cool right. Anyways i think complex numbers is really complex leh. Why can't z* and z* cancel out together? Aiyoh.. Tomorrow's friday! Eh, got so much work to do. Why is there so much work to do.. Aiyoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh yoh. Okay i think i should get back to do my tutorial 24. Hee! :D

HEE! :D

i remembered what i want to say on sunday!

yes yes. i saw wei ming! eh wei ming, really long time no see leh. haha how are you! :)

it was a pleasant surprise seeing you!

it says it all..............................................................................................




okay. that's the most emo thing i've ever said in my blog! hehe.

A quote from Ps Edmund, 'Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional.'

Rachel says:
say " i am so glad to meet a BEAUTIFUL FRIEND like RACHEL SOH, she 's like the best thing that ever happened in my life, I am SO THANKFUL for her, so pretty n INTELLIGENT"

this is my 60th post! :D tomorrow is ah pa's birthday! :D and i have no papers tomorrow also! :D

monday was math. and tuesday was geography. Why geography matters? Because of those landslides, and those people who uses cut-and-fill materials. (tsktsk) and the hydrological cycle. where your interception thing happens, stemflow, throughfall throughflow and what not. And not to forget, all the mass movements and the massive impacts! Small ones evident at the construction site near Buona Vista mrt. And all these! And who can forget the HDB flats that help to intercept the rain also! And the animals. Burrow here and burrow there, creating so much cracks and fissues. And and, the ice! The freeze thaw action!

Then, math was... memorable. Hurhur. See see, Ron Lipsman says I can do the math. :D how encouraging! :D if only math questions were as simple as...of course i wouldnt need the technical support. and maybe i can get full marks for the test too! :D

All those integration, and vectors. and tham jie min scored 14/15 for vectors test! crazy woman. study hard for your common test friend! :) and get that full marks for math again! and geography too! :D

and talk about geography. Bangkok's a primate city! :/ tsk. I cancelled it with my own hands, and wrote Kuala Lumpur. tsktsk.

I'm going to stay home and compose the most beautiful music ever! :D tomorrow! and today at night too! And mug mep. All the indian music and stravinsky. I think stravinsky very smart eh. All his use of the ostinatos.. so smart. heheh. gladys heng.. stravinsky.. nothing simliar. oh wells. Friday's coming! :) (but they don't know that Sunday's coming. Hur)